


you just haven't earned it yet, baby

by nowrunalong



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 17:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12846444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowrunalong/pseuds/nowrunalong
Summary: The flowers arrive at seven-thirty AM.Lucifer and Maze carry out a bet to see who can seduce Chloe Decker on Valentine's Day. Spoilers: neither wins.





	you just haven't earned it yet, baby

The flowers arrive at seven-thirty AM. Chloe and Maze are eating breakfast when there’s a knock at the door and Chloe finds a delivery boy on her front steps with six bouquets gathered up in his arms. How he’d even managed to knock, Chloe doesn’t know.

“There are more in the van,” he says in lieu of a hello, and Chloe stares.

Maze is by her side in an instant. “Let me help you with those,” she says, far too loudly for seven-thirty AM, and yanks the flowers from the boy’s arms.

It takes them three trips to get the entire load of bouquets into the kitchen. 

“Did these come for you?” Chloe asks, when the van is gone. The kitchen smells of roses. “Seems like you were expecting them.”

“For me?” Maze snorts. “No. These are yours.”

“How do you know? Did we get a card?”

“Uh, no card,” Maze says. “I don’t do cards.”

“ _You_ don’t—?”

Maze shrugs. “Yeah. They’re from me. I bought these from a, uh. Flower… delivery… place. For you. Happy V-Day, Decker.”

“Maze, this is so—I don’t even know what to say.” Chloe leans forward and sniffs one of the bouquets. “Seriously—these are heavenly. This is incredibly thoughtful.”

“Really?” Maze says, surprised. “I mean—whatever. Yeah. Uh, you’re welcome.”

Chloe reaches for the top cupboard and begins to pull vases out onto the counter. “I didn’t know you were the type for grand romantic gestures,” she says, lining up vases in a neat row. “Would you start filling these with water? About halfway.”

“I’m not,” Maze says. She grabs the first vase and sticks it under the faucet. “I only do this for you, Decker.”

“That’s sweet.”

As Maze fills up the vases, Chloe trims the flower stems with a pair of scissors and places them in the water. There are eighteen bouquets in total, which is incidentally the exact number of vases Chloe owns.

“You counted Mom’s vases?” Chloe says, surprised. “I didn’t know you even knew they were up here.”

“’Course I knew,” Maze says smoothly. “I’m full of surprises, Decker.”

“You are,” Chloe says, nodding. “I mean, first you’re up before me, which never happens. And now flowers. Thanks, Maze. I mean it. It means a lot to know that you care.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m the caring type. I care. I care _lots_.”

A knock at the door interrupts Chloe’s reply.

“Did you order chocolates or something?” she asks, but Maze shakes her head.

It’s Lucifer.

“Detective!” he says jovially, striding past her into the kitchen. “I see you got my flowers. Lovely, aren’t they? I thought you’d appreciate roses.”

“Your flowers? Lucifer, what are you doing here?”

“Yeah, Lucifer,” Maze says. “Get outta my house.”

“Mazikeen. You aren’t happy to see me?”

Chloe looks back and forth between them as Maze glares at Lucifer. “Okay,” she says. “What’s going on?”

“Yes,” Lucifer says, “What _is_ going on?”

“Maze told me that these flowers are from her,” Chloe tells Lucifer.

“Did she?” Lucifer says. He laughs. “Detective. You didn’t seriously believe that _Maze_ would go to such lengths to win you over? I’d be willing to wager she didn’t even know where you kept the vases. Why _do_ you have so many, anyway?”

“They’re my mom’s,” Chloe says. “Maze?”

“I would’ve thought of flowers,” Maze says sullenly. “Lucifer just beat me to it. It’s the _thought_ that counts.”

“Let me get this straight,” Chloe says. “You both wanted to send me flowers. Lucifer sent these. And Maze—you lied to me?” Before Maze can answer, Chloe shakes her head. “You know what? I don’t care. Thank you—both of you. It’s sweet that you remembered me on Valentine’s Day. I’m going to work now. Lucifer, are you coming?”

“Yes, yes,” Lucifer says, winking in Maze’s direction. “After all, we’re partners. Where would you be without me?”

“Right,” Chloe says. “Come on.”

Maze is still glaring at Lucifer when they leave for Chloe’s car.

—

Chloe has a long morning.

A long, shitty morning.

It starts to rain shortly after she and Lucifer leave the house, which in itself wouldn’t have affected her. However, it turns a mad dash after a suspect at a racetrack into a slip-slide through boot-deep mud. She slides for a good several feet before losing her balance and falling backwards onto her ass. When Lucifer tugs her up off the ground, Chloe’s shoes, pants, jacket, and hands are completely coated in mud.

“Eughh,” she groans, letting go of Lucifer’s hand. With filthy fingers she tries to wipe some of the mud off of her jacket, to little effect.

“I’ll say,” Lucifer says, horrified. “You’ve got mud on the sleeve of my Armani.”

Chloe rolls her eyes.

“I’m going home,” she says. “Dan can drive the jockey to the station. Are you riding with me or him?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but—I’ll go with Daniel.”

“Yeah. I thought you’d say that.”

“Well, frankly, Detective—you smell abhorrent.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Chloe says drily. There’s a streak of mud on her cheek from where she’d accidentally touched her face. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lucifer.”

“Yes,” Lucifer says faintly, as he watches her go. “Tomorrow.”

—

“I have had a _day_ ,” Chloe announces, dropping her wallet and keys onto the kitchen table.

Maze takes one look at her and grins widely.

“Don’t laugh,” Chloe warns her.

“I wasn’t going to. Okay, you’re gonna _love_ me.”

“Why?” Chloe says skeptically.

Maze hooks her arm through Chloe’s, still beaming. “I made something for you.” She tugs on Chloe’s arm. “Come on.”

Confused, Chloe allows Maze to lead her to their joint bathroom.

At the top of the landing, Maze pushes the door open to reveal—

A scene from a movie. The bathtub is rimmed with candles, a small stack of Chloe’s favourite novels sit on the counter, and rose petals float in the bath water like some kind of absurd indie romance. The curtains are drawn closed and the lights are out so that the flickering candles are the only light source.

“It’s _good_ , right?” Maze says excitedly. “I saw you on TV! Your little mudscapade got caught on camera.”

“Great,” Chloe says. And then she turns to Maze, their arms still linked. “I can’t _believe_ you did this for me.”

“I _care_ , remember?” Maze says.

“The whole way home I was just thinking, ‘God, I need a bath.’”

Maze nods. “I got your back, Decker.” She still hasn’t let go of Chloe’s arm.

“Uh,” Chloe says.

“Hmm?”

“If this is for me, then—I’m going to have a bath,” Chloe says meaningfully.

“Yeah! That’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Chloe wiggles her elbow, but Maze is holding on tight.

“I’m gonna need my arm,” she says.

“Oh. Yeah.”

Maze lets go, but doesn’t leave the bathroom.

“Maze?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not going to have a bath with you standing here.”

“You’re not gonna ask me to join you?”

“Oh my God,” Chloe says, and pushes Maze out of the bathroom.

“It’d be _fun_ , Decker!” Maze calls from the other side of the door. “You deserve a little fun in your life. No one else is gonna offer when you look like the abominable mud-woman.”

“I’m not looking for fun,” Chloe says, divesting herself of her muddy clothing. “I just want to relax.”

Maze leans against the door and grins. “I could help you with that, too.”

“By _myself_.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Maze says. “Gotcha. Don’t forget to wash your hands first, Decker.”

Chloe groans and sinks her head beneath the water.

—

Chloe is sitting on the couch with her hair in a towel when her phone rings.

“What is it, Lucifer?” she asks when she picks up. Maze looks up from her own phone at the sound of Lucifer’s name and fixes Chloe with an interested look.

“I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to apologize. About earlier.”

“You want to apologize? That’s a new one.”

“Well, I realized that my words were entirely unsympathetic to your plight. As you often tell me—I made the problem about myself, and I should have been more attentive to you.”

“It’s fine,” Chloe sighs. “But thank you for saying that. I appreciate it.”

“I’d like to apologize by buying you dinner—tonight, if you’ve made yourself presentable? For Valentine’s Day.”

“You’re not going to bail on me this time, are you?” Chloe says.

“Sure he will,” Maze says.

Chloe shoots her a look.

“No,” Lucifer says. “Believe it or not, the devil has matured.”

“Right.”

“Before you hang up, Detective—I left a letter for you in the trunk of your car, at the racetrack.”

“I won’t even ask how you got the trunk open,” Chloe says.

“Meet you at eight?” Lucifer says. “The steakhouse across from Lux. They do an impressive flambé.”

“Okay,” Chloe agrees. “See you later, Lucifer.”

“What does he want?” Maze asks, as soon as Chloe hangs up. “You’re meeting him for dinner?”

“Yeah,” Chloe says. “Hang on—I forgot something in the car. I’ll be back in a minute.”

—

The letter contains Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 in Lucifer’s handwriting. Chloe sits in the front seat to read it.

_Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer’s lease hath all too short a date._

She phones Lucifer back from the car.

“Shakespeare?” she asks, as soon as he picks up.

“Do you like it? ‘ _Thy eternal summer shall not fade, not lose possession of that fair thou owest._ ’ Naturally, Sonnet 18 reminds me of you.”

“Uh-huh,” Chloe says. “You know, I’m learning a lot today. Both you and Maze are a lot sweeter about Valentine’s Day than I was expecting.”

“What _were_ you expecting?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I mean, Dan and I never did much for Valentine’s, you know? If no one had said anything, I wouldn’t have been disappointed. Or surprised.”

“Detective, I’ve told you before—you’re special. I couldn’t possibly ignore a holiday dedicated entirely to appreciating you.”

Chloe smiles. “Thanks, Lucifer.”

“Did you really not have any plans for today?”

“Why would I? It’s not like there’s anyone… you know.”

“Right,” Lucifer says. “Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if you’re ever lonely, Detective—you know where to find me. In fact,” Lucifer adds suggestively, “I’ll be at Lux all night, and my plans are easily cancelled.”

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt a lovely evening with the _Brittanys_ ,” Chloe says. “I’ll see you at dinner, Lucifer. Unless those plans are easily cancelled, too.”

“No,” Lucifer says. “I wouldn’t do that to you again. Devil’s honour, Detective.”

“I believe you,” Chloe says honestly. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you tonight, Detective,” Lucifer says.

It’s several minutes before Chloe goes back inside.

—

She heads to her room to change into an outfit suitable for dinner. Nice but casual. Nothing that screams ‘I spent two hours choosing what to wear’ or ‘I threw on the first thing I could find.’ A happy medium. A sweater and one of her mother’s necklaces, maybe.

“Decker?” Maze says, outside her closed bedroom door. “Got something for you.”

“Come in,” Chloe says, doing up the clasp of the necklace without turning around.

Maze comes into view in the mirror, and Chloe chokes on nothing.

“Maze!”

Her housemate is wearing leather pants and an enormous red ribbon wrapped around her chest instead of a shirt.

Chloe spins to face her.

“I don’t know romance,” Maze says. “I don’t know shit about flowers, or chocolates, or poetry. But I wanted to give you something for Valentine’s Day, because you, uh. You’re different.” The vulnerability on her face is replaced with a smirk. “You should really take me up on this, Decker. I’m way better in the sack than Lucifer is.”

“Maze, come here.” Chloe sits down on the bed and pats the spot next to her.

Maze looks hopeful.

“We need to talk,” Chloe says, as soon as Maze has settled down against her side.

“ _Not_ what I’m here for.”

“No, really, Maze. I need you to understand something.”

“What?” Maze says warily.

“You and Lucifer—you’re my best friends. You don’t need to give me anything.”

“But I want to. Seriously, Decker,” Maze says, gesturing at herself. “You’re turning _this_ down?”

“Come to dinner?” Chloe asks, dodging the question. “With me and Lucifer. He’s paying. It’ll be fun.”

“He’ll be pissed to see me,” Maze says. And then she grins. “Sure, I’ll come.”

—

“You brought Maze?” Lucifer asks, disbelief etched across his face. “Why?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Chloe says, sitting down across from him and pulling out the chair next to her for Maze. “You’ve both been so sweet to me today that I’d like to enjoy dinner with both of you.”

“There’s something else you could enjoy with both of us,” Maze says.

Chloe rolls her eyes as Maze and Lucifer exchange a smirk. “Oh my God. Do you two have any idea how _un_ -subtle you are? I _know_ what you’re up to!”

“ _I’m_ not up to anything,” Lucifer declares. “I just wanted to enjoy a Valentine’s dinner with my favourite Detective without any pesky _demons_ crashing our date.”

“You’re competing over me! It’s obvious, okay? Did you two make a bet or something?”

The awkward discomfort on Maze’s face gives it away.

“Don’t be angry, Detective,” Lucifer says. “If you had chosen to sleep with one of us, you wouldn’t have regretted it—I can promise you that.”

“I’m not angry. I know you. I know that you both meant what you said to me today, even if you had weird ulterior motives. But the bet is _off_ , okay? Neither of you wins.”

“Fine,” Maze says. She turns to Lucifer. “Can you believe she turned me down twice today?”

“She’s turned me down _far_ more times than that. What did Maze try, by the way?” Lucifer asks Chloe.

“That’s between me and Decker,” Maze says, hooking her arm through Chloe’s again. “What goes on at our place _stays_ at our place.”

Chloe just smiles and flips over the drinks menu. Despite the cocktail of weirdness this day has been, she wouldn’t trade it for any other.

**Author's Note:**

> this was gonna be longer n more developed but instead it is....... this. apologies for excessive cheese! comments and kudos are much appreciated, as always. you can find me on tumblr @lesbidar, where i often take fic prompts.


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